10 Ara 2009
Asker / Soldier
Ilk karsilasmamizdan surada bahsetmisim ama tekrar olsun. 5 yasindaydim, heyecan icinde bir kardesim olacagi gunu bekliyordum. Sonra bir gun babam beni bir hastaneye goturdu elimden tutup. Cok yuksek bir binanin nerdeyse 10. kati gibi hatirliyorum ama Zeynep Kamil'in o kadar kati yok, hastane boyuna benim boyumun orantisi diyelim :) Bana camdan el salladigina emindim, dedim ya yas 5, oyle algilamak istedim demek ki. / I have talked about our first meeting before, here (sorry, only in Turkish). I was 5, I was anxious to meet my brother. One day, my dad took me to a hospital. I saw you for the first time form a hospital window. At the time, I was sure that the window was at least at the 1oth floor, but now I know that that hospital is not that tall, may it it was my height relative to the hospital's that made me think 10th floor. I was certain that you waved at me! (of course a new-born baby cannot wave :) ) May be I just wanted you to wave, so I thought you did!
Ertesi gun eve geldigin anda basladi icimdeki buyuk baglilik. Sevgi dersen seninle tanismadan cok cok once baslamisti... Ilk yuvarlanmayi ogrendiginde dusmustun, saatlerce aglamistim kardesimin cani acidi diye. Senin canin yandiginda benim de yandigini o zaman anladim ilk. Sonra seni korumayi ogrendim, zamanla da seni her zaman koruyamayacagimi. Simdi ise senin kendi hayatini yasaman gerektigini biliyorum, bazi seyleri kendi duse kalka ogrenebiliyor ancak insan. Ama her canin yandiginda, benim de canim yaniyor hep. Her yuzun guldugunde, benim de guluyor senin icin. Her zaman yanindayim, biliyorsun. Senin mutlulugun cok onemli benim icin. / The next day, when you come home, I realized I was already attached to you. My love towards you, on the other hand, started long before we met. I loved you the moment I heard I was going to have a sibling...The day you learned how to roll, you fell, and I cried for hours thinking that my precious brother was hurt! This was the first time I realized that when you get hurt, I will too. Then, I learned how to protect you form getting hurt, and then I learned that I cannot always protect you from getting hurt. Now, I know that you have to live your life, and getting hurt is a process of learning how you want to live your life! Still, I get hurt when you do, and I get happy for you when you get happy :) I am always behind you 100%, and you know that. Your happiness means a lot to me!
Cok guzel bir cocukluk gecirdik biz seninle, dedim ya sana daha once icinde sen oldugun icin guzeldi :) Hangi kanal seyredilecek diye deli gibi kavga ettik, her kardes gibi. Baska bir suru sey icin kavga ettik, normaldi, iki kardes arasinda olur boyle seyler :) / We had a wonderful childhood together, as I told you before, it was so because you were in it :) We fought a lot on which channel to watch, just like any brother and sister. We fought on many more stupid issue, but it was normal, included in the definition of being a brother and a sister :)
Sonra ben once ODTU'ye, sonra taa Amerikalara gittim. Sen buyudun bu arada. Nasil oldu anlamadan, benim akil hocam oldun dar zamanlarimda. Seninle konusmak hep cok iyi geldi. Belki aksam yemekleri icin bulusamiyoruz haftada bir, ya da ne bileyim, Moda'da kahvaltiya gidemiyoruz pazarlari birlikte, ya da sen atlayip gelemiyorsun benim evime canin sIkIldiginda, ama birbirimizin destegini hep hissediyoruz, di mi? Bu hery seyden onemli... / I first went to Ankara, then to the US, and you grew up! I don't know how it happened but you became my personal counselor when I was feeling down. It always helped to talk to you. Now, may be we cannot get together for dinner once a week, or cannot have breakfast at Moda every Sunday, or you cannot stop by my place whenever you feel like it, but we always feel our support for each other, right?
Buydukce kavgalarimiz azaldi, sorunlarimiz karmasiklasti. Bagimiz daha da guclendi, bu mumkunduyse tabi. Seni cok cok cok ama cok seviyorum bu dunyanin gelmis gecmis en super kardesi! / As we grew older, our fights became less frequent, and our lives get more complicated. Our ties got even stronger, if that is possible. You are the best brother ever, and I love you very very very much!
Kardesini askere yollamak zormus, ben bu ogrendim. / And now, I learn that it is very though to see my brother going to do his military service.
Yolun acik olsun, herseyin en guzeli seninle olsun! / Bon voyage! I hope all the best for you!